Jen: When you met Roseanne, how did you explain that you weren't one of those creeps who poses with babies in profile pictures so that you look like a good guy?
Jarrett: Well, you see, I actually am one of those guys.
Brad: I bet God uses Google+.
Please introduce me to everyone because I am not embarrassing
Jen: I had only met her twice, and then I made a joke about murdering someone with a ukulele because I'm so sick of them.
Laine: BHAHAHAHAHAH. Leah, tell Jen that.
Jen: Do you play the ukulele?
Leah: No, but [boyfriend] does.
At least I didn't let her keep it?
Jen: Give that to Mommy. No Oxycodone for babies!
I really did think about it
Laine: Now, I liked this blush but it turns out it can give you some kind of reproductive cancer. Do you want it?
I cried a little with joy
Cody: Evelyn cried when I put her in the car, so I turned on some music. Your Nickelback CD was in there, and she immediately stopped crying. After a while, I thought I could switch to jazz--
Jen: Why would you ever turn off Nickelback and try to switch it out for jazz?!
Cody: Jazz is fine! Well, Evelyn started crying again. So I went back to Nickelback and she was dancing and clapping. Two minutes later, I looked back there and she'd fallen asleep. I was like, "Wow, girl! You are really your mother's daughter."
It has begun
Evelyn: Look, a rock!
Jen: That's a nice rock!
Evelyn: That's a nice rock!
Evelyn: Where did it come from?
Welcome to Arkansas!
Co-worker: Dating is.....
Jen: It's moms. All moms!
Co-worker: Moms as far as the eye can see! [waves an arm] I wish there was a macro for that.
Jen: It would be a picture from Riverfest.
Co-worker: That...oh...okay, yes. That would be it.
He was not wrong
Casey: We can't take a baby into a bar. We're not that far South.
And we never went to that store again.
Evelyn: [whispers] I see them. I see them.
Jen: What's that?
Evelyn: Ha ha, it's just a parking lot.
I know you all know
Jen: Give me a minute. You know how I get all self-important and serious about my work.
Jessi: Oh yeah.
Jen: I'm about to do that.
It bothers me how much I relate to this
Leah: Oh wow, I forgot about her. I forgot she was alive.
Leah: She could have been dead. That's how much she didn't exist for me.
There's no coming back from this
Evelyn: I going to laugh now.
Jen and Cody: Right now?
Evelyn: Okay. Heh heh heh.
Jen: Laughs hysterically forever.
Evelyn looks at Cody with concern: I done laughing now.