Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Have you guys ever been to that gas station on Pike that's also a wig store?: funny list time!

Always the best option
Jessi: She kept asking me questions about the wedding.
Jeff: Why didn't she just ask me about it?
Jessi: I don't know.  And I got nervous, because I thought she might try to crash the wedding or something, uh, so I made it sound like we weren't friends any more and I didn't know much about it.  Sorry.

Baby's First Pride and Prejudice Board Book Reading with Uncle Jarrett
Jarrett: "Four marriage proposals."  See, Evelyn?  This--this is the ideal.  This book is telling you that if you're nice enough, and you worry enough, this is your reward.

Makes sense
Jen: You drove straight into the back of a Penske truck!
Casey: Hey, hey. It was a DHL truck.
Cody: I bet that's one of the reasons they went out of business.
Casey: I hope so.

Who writes about feelings on command?
Mom: And then they were supposed to write about their feelings. I'm not sure boys are good at that.
Jen: Boys? Do you remember me at 10? At all?
Mom: Yes, I do and that's why I know you would straight-out fail that class. You would fail the 5th grade.

I still want her to make a Pinterest board filled with El Camino pictures and listings
Laine: When we're rich, I'm going to buy an El Camino.  Like, one in really good condition.
Mom: They don't make those. They weren't nice when they were new.
Levi: You can get one for cheap right now [begins finding eBay listings on his phone].
Laine: I'll take you all for a ride in it!
Jen: What, like, one at a time?
Laine: Huh?
Dad: They have bench seats and 3 seatbelts.
Laine: There's no back seat?
Sara: Where do you think the bed comes from?
Laine: Man.

This is how I remind me that I'm not a good person around music snobs
Jarrett: I should have looked at the directions sooner.  I'm going to be so upset if we can't get in.
Jen: We've been listening to Nickelback the entire time.
Jarrett: I....I deserve this.

When the slideshow at church doesn't go as planned and there's no sound
Jen: This is what happens when you can't have musical accompaniment.
Sara: Yup, just awkward silence for everything.
Chad: Y'all be quiet, I'm trying to pay attention to this.

Jen and Jessi are a couple in public once again
Jen: We've really got to stop referring to Cody as "her dad" whenever we talk about Evelyn.
Jessi: I just want you to know, I was guiding you through that crowd with my hand on the small of your back.

Raising Evelyn with him is going to be challenging
Cody: We mostly just read stories and did crafts in kindergarten. [Sigh] It was a year of hell.

But maybe parenting is bringing us closer together?
Jen: Have you noticed that Evelyn's one tooth is crooked and off-center?
Cody: Yes.
Jen: Does it fill you with anxiety and dread, too?
Cody: Yes.

Boundaries
Kelly: I mean, I can't make you mac and cheese every night.

This happened in a 5 Guys
Cody: At least some Christian music has gotten better.
Jen: That's like saying the situation in Darfur has gotten better. You still don't want to go.  It's not good. It's awful.
Cody: Oh my gosh, how can you say that?
Jen: I know it's a bit extreme to compare the situation in Darfur to Christian music, but you know what? I'm sticking with it.
Cody: Jen--
Jen: David Crowder Band and Darfur.  PRACTICALLY THE SAME THING!
Cody: That is absolutely horrible. You are horrible.  Horrible, horrible person.
Jen: [laughs]
Evelyn: [fake evil laugh]
Jen: [laughs with Evelyn]

No.
Casey: Have you guys ever been to that gas station on Pike that's a wig store, too?


Yes.
Jen: They all look so young.
Cody: Jen, you're only 28 years old.
Jen: I'm 29 years old.
Cody: Jen, you're only 29 years old.
[Pause]
Cody: I guess that means I'm 28, then.

1 comment:

Laine said...

Several of these made me laugh out loud at work. Thanks for the mid-day comic relief!