Since it's been nearly a year since I posted any funny lists, here is one for you today!
Accessories are important
Jen: What are you and Evelyn going to do? Wear matching tutus and crowns?
Sara: Maybe. I guess I could share a crown with her.
Jen: How many do you have now? 5?
Sara: I think so, yeah.
Levi takes boxes very seriously
Mom: You wanted a baby swing? What are you going to do with that?
Jen: Uh, put the baby in it.
Levi: Mom! Look at how happy this baby on the box is! And it goes where you go! And in Spanish!
Dad takes play kitchens very seriously and has been taking them seriously for over a year now
Dad: I saw a lot of great play kitchens! I really think the baby needs one.
Jen: Let's wait until she's old enough to enjoy them. Or be born.
Laine: Oh, Evelyn let's play with your little hairdo and have a photo shoot!
Evelyn: Blank stare.
Laine: I think we're great friends. Just the best of friends!
He really does
Levi: I love adopted people!
When you consider her second-degree sunburn, this time was not a success
Sara: Was it really that bad?
Leah: I only go to Bonnaroo for iced lemonade and drugs!
Jen: Not for bands?
Leah: No! And this year they didn't even have iced lemonade!
The Burt to everyone's Ernie
Mom: It was so funny. You just marched your little self down the stairs and you were so mad. And you told me, "Don't ever give Laine medicine with--what was it?"
Jen: Codeine. It winds her up. She was literally trying to walk up the wall at 2 in the morning.
Mom: Right. You were so little and so mad! It was funny.
Jen: I was 15.
Mom: You were little at 15.
Cody does love his 80s pop
Spencer: How does it make you feel to know that all of the good 80s pop has already been made and there won't be any more?
I find this odd, yet flattering
Jessi: Would you think it was weird if I had a framed picture of Evelyn in my office?
Book nerd after my own heart
Jen: So this girl said on Facebook that her daughter was having a sleepover and her plan was to stay up past midnight and then do a silent reading!
Jessica: What? How old is this girl?
Jen: I don't know. 7ish?
Jessica: Is she homeschooled?
Jen: I just hope some day you'll care enough about a girl that you'll put AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" on a mix for her.
Jarrett: I pray for that every day.
I give great Christmas presents
Spencer: Whoa, this is a legit book about unicorns.
She was advanced, even at a week old
Jen: So, she went to her first party ever and was dragged screaming incoherently out of some guy's bedroom she'd just met that night, wearing different clothes than the ones she showed up in and with her own vomit in her hair.
Jarrett: Wow, you were really a hot mess there. We all hit low points. You're just getting it out of the way early. 5 days--it's all uphill from there.
He'd only known her for 3 months
Evelyn: [spits her pacifier on the floor]
Jen: Can you pick that up for me?
Casey: Here you go. You might not want to put that back in its mouth.
Jen: Did you just call her 'it'?
Casey: No. Of course not.....
It does explain a lot
Jen: Kelly said she was trying to get John to eat more vegetables, but that he wasn't always into trying new things. She said, "He'll tell me 'This was good, but there's no cheese on it.' and I'll be like, 'That's because it's Chinese food.'"
Sara: That's why I don't like Chinese food.
Whatever, y'all are jerks
Laine: Jen, I was imitating the way you dance in the car on the way over here.
Leah: She looked just like you. It was awful.
Cody cares about baby fashions, part 1
Jen: And Mom was laughing because you were freaking out over changing Evelyn and cleaning up the mess and she said you said "I had her in the cutest outfit today" and--
Cody: Hey! Hey! I always have her dressed cute! Isn't that right, girl?
Casey also addresses Evelyn as "Girl"
Casey: Wow, girl, you're really chewing on that fist. Maybe you can get your whole fist in there one day, and you'll be cool.
Levi is sneaky
Levi: Okay, Mom, here's your coffee. Dad, here's your coffee.
Levi: You shouldn't hold the baby with the coffee. I'll take her since I'm the only one with free hands.
Jen: You're a giver. Did you plan this?
Mom: I think one of us can keep holding her.
Levi: Don't. burn. Evelyn. I'll take her. Just let me have the baby!
Wait, he's met Cody
Jessi: I just realized that people have probably thought we were a couple all day....
Jen: Do you want to keep wearing Evelyn anyway?
Jessi: Yeah! Hi, Chad!
[A month or so later]
Thomas: So you guys know my friend, Chad?
Jen and Jessi: Yeah, nice guy.
Thomas: He asked me the other day, "So your friends, Jen and Jessi......are they......?"
Jessi: I knew it!
Jen: Oh, it was the day we ran into him when we wore all the plaid and went shopping together.
Jessi: We did not have our act together. You'd think we'd never left the house with a baby before.
Jen: And we've taken her places tons of times!
Cody did not pass for 18 even at 18
Jen: And then guy goes "So, how old are you? 17? 18?" Ugh. I was holding Evelyn and paying with a debit card and there were family photos of us all! So what if I was 18?
Cody: Wow, he must have thought I was a real perv.
Jen and Jessi and Evelyn in Barnes
Jessi: Oh hi!
Jessi's co-worker: This must be Evelyn!
Jessi: Uh, I might talk about your daughter a lot at work.
Jessi's co-worker: Wow, that hair really is long!
Jessi: And I show people pictures on my phone....
Like I said
Jen: I was listening to the game and they were doing so badly, so I dressed Evelyn in her Razorback clothes during the half-time and they won! So I've been dressing her in Razorback gear for every game and they've been winning.
Sara: I know, I realized they lost the game on the day I forgot to wear my Razorback underwear. So I've been wearing it every game day and they win.
Jen: Why do you have Razorback underwear?
Levi: Why do you not?
Jen: I don't even know where you buy something like that.
Sara: They sell it everywhere!
Jen: I don't think we shop at the same places.
Sara: They even have it at Victoria's Secret!
Cody cares about baby fashions, part 2
Jen: Oh, look at the little butterfly on the back! So cute.
Cody: Congratulations, girl! It's your first piece of clothing that calls attention to your butt. Great.
Cody: I had a dream that we went to a religious conference--you, me, and your parents.
Jen: Was I sedated? How did you get me to go to a religious conference?
Cody: Free food.
Jen: Are you serious?!
Cody: Yes. You went for the free food there.
Jen: Was it good?
Jarrett: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to you. Evelyn was making funny faces. I'm sure that happens to you a lot.