Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Typo Tuesday: Put the light back under your bushel

I really don't want to pick on a church.

Okay, I do.  The church in question is our Our Beacon of Perpetual Harping on the Attendance Forms, which is not really its name but may as well be.  We'd been attending the church for a while a couple of years ago, but then the new preacher swooped in with a lot of charming micro-managing tendencies and we stopped going.

(Alas, we did this after filling out one of the stupid attendance forms and I've been on the email list ever since.  There is no point in trying to unsubscribe.)

Anyway, we were getting ready to go to church a few Sundays ago and one member of the family was really dragging our routine down.  Fine, it was Evelyn.  The girl can set an agenda back by a million hours if you let her.  And we did because, well, you can't stop the spit-up.  After she made her fifth mess of the morning and it was time for church services to start and we were still in our living room, we nearly threw in the towel and went to Barnes & Noble.  But Cody was wearing his Father's Day tie, and we hadn't gone to church in a while, so we went to this church because they had later services.

Evelyn wore her pretty church dress all day!  I can't believe I forgot to put a bow in her hair.

Aside from the fact that there was no reverence in the worship service, all was well.  Old ladies smiled at Evelyn and she smiled back.  There were hymns and prayers and a sermon.  The preacher let us know they had a nursery, but that we could keep Evelyn with us "if you like."  Cool, thanks for letting me decide where to put my child.  I'd picked up a brochure for the church's summer program and lo, there lay a bounty of typographical errors.

Behold, the abominations:


Not only is "fourth" misspelled, but the streets here use numerals.

When using the phrase "peanut free" adjectivally, you need a hyphen.

Yes, this was all in one brochure.

Frist. Forth. Hyphen-less obnoxious phrases.

You'd think I'd cut them some slack because they're a church, but I won't.  I won't because, firstly, I am mean to the core.  Secondly, and probably more importantly, I think churches should be held to a higher standard than the businesses and organizations I usually mock.

If this is what you're bringing to the table, just put the light back under the bushel and take it away.  Please.


Laine said...

This whole post cracked me up. I seriously laughed out loud a little, quietly of course, Robert was studying.

Sarah Bibles said...

I didn't know you guys went to Presbyterian churches? Are you just trying out new ones?

Teca said...

Um...I could have sworn you have done a typo blog entry about churches before, so I pay attention to our bullentin. I am proud to say that we rarely have typos. Also, feel free to come to my church. We will not tell you that we have nursery. Lastly, is this a sin--making fun of church bullentins? Is it blasphemous (sp)?

Kelly said...

Wow. I didn't know churches went to such peanut-free extremes these days. I want to make some sort of joke about demanding gluten-free wafers, but I think I might get struck down for that one.