I bought Evelyn a pacifier today.
We have about a dozen, but I can't find them.
I've tried to give them to her before, but she didn't want them. And I was fine with that.
But in the past day or so, she's started sucking and chewing on her fist when she's not even hungry.
She has some trouble falling asleep, she has some trouble staying asleep, and things are just a little different right now and she doesn't quite understand why. But she has noticed that something is different and she needs a way to comfort herself and I just can't quite cut it.
I know six weeks is an okay age to introduce a pacifier and I know she loves eating too much for this to become a problem. But I'm still antsy and I feel bad that she feels bad. And even though my dental hygienist--obviously speaking as a mom--told me it's better for her to have a pacifier instead of her thumb (because you can throw away a pacifier), I worry. Her sweet little face is obscured. She's dependent on something inanimate. I'll have to watch the clock a little more closely instead of her cues to make sure she gets enough to eat because she'll be, well, pacified and fussy tends to look a lot like hungry.
But dadgummit, a pacifier. My baby has been driven to pacifier-use because things are so out of control.
I'll have a little more rest and a shower and the sun will shine tomorrow and I'll feel better. Even now I know that the most important thing is that something will help her feel better, and we've found it, and I can sterilize it. It's making her feel better, and that's important for the next week or so. My baby is happy and secure.
And I have to remind myself that it could be worse. Her coping mechanism could be a daily dose of chocolate, Mtn. Dew, and Nickelback.
We all have our ways to self-soothe.