We're having a girl!
We have tutus and hairbows and those little smock Easter dresses in our future!
I'm buying a baby Easter dress next year!!!
I am so excited!
Do you want to hear all about it? I'm going to tell you all about it.
After my very first doctor's appointment at 8 weeks, when we heard the little heartbeat and saw the little blob on the ultrasound screen and everyone assured me I hadn't imagined the whole thing, Cody and I were sitting on our couch. We were absorbing the day, and feeling expectant.
"I think it's a girl." he said.
"Just a feeling. I think it's a girl. But I don't care either way."
For some reason, I always saw Cody and me having boys together whenever I'd imagine our family. It's always been that way. Always.
Two weeks later, we told our families.
"I think it would be neat if y'all had a girl." his mom said.
Their dad had always wanted a girl, and had obviously never gotten one, so she thought it would be neat if we had a girl (but she likes baby boys, too. Obviously).
We started making a list with two columns: boy names and girl names. Cody is not a fan of my all-time, #1 favorite boy name. I championed it for it. He refused to really discuss names until we knew what we were having. I kept pressing.
"It's a great name!" I insisted.
"We'll see." he kept saying.
Two weeks after telling our immediate families, we told our friends and anyone else who cared to know. People had opinions! Where our closest families members were noncommittal and insisting they love all babies (because they do), some of our friends were surprisingly adamant and somehow deeply invested in the sex of our baby.
Jessi swore we would have a girl, citing her 2 dreams about our baby being a girl as supporting evidence.
Jeff swore we would have a boy, because he doesn't think Cody is capable of having anything (anyone?) else.
Jarrett also believed we were having a boy, but I never heard why.
Mandy carries a card in her purse (?) that tracks your age and month of conception and consulted it before telling me I was having a girl.
I felt pretty clueless and didn't really care. But...
You know when you're a little girl and you think you'll be your mom when you grow up? Well, her or that cop on some TV show who keeps her partner in line and goes undercover and wears lots of big hair and makeup and you think it's really glamorous because you don't know she's posing as a prostitute. But anyway, when I didn't think I'd be a gun-toting detective or a reporter or Reba, I thought I'd be like my mom. And I've been thinking a lot about that lately.
I'd remember the stories my parents would tell about Mom being pregnant with me, of me being a baby, of me reacting to a new baby sister and I'd start to see myself as Mom. And, of course, I was a girl. For the past little bit of time, I pictured the baby as a girl whenever I'd imagine what life would be like next year. I had been a firstborn girl, and it seemed like I could have a firstborn girl.
Last week, Cody had a dream that the baby was a girl. He was really happy because he thinks he can call a baby girl little nicknames and terms of endearment.
And I know all of this is completely irrelevant when you think about how much more important it is to have a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy. And dreams and hunches and old wishes and hypothetical scenarios don't always make a lot of sense. But neither does thinking you and your sister will grow up to marry your dad, but a lot of little girls do that too. And, in some ways, you do.
So yesterday. I woke up excited and nervous. I've read far too many articles and blogs detailing a happy pregnancy until "We went in for the ultrasound...." to be completely excited and I didn't feel as wonderfully expectant as I usually do--just nervous.
I was distracted by other pieces of bad news, lots of work, a malfunctioning computer, and the sense that 3 o'clock would never find me. So I worked distractedly, made small talk distractedly, and wrote a fairly distracted blog post that was mostly about how I really hoped we'd get to find out what we were having. We were so sick of calling our poor baby "it." I thought about mentioning that we both had a feeling this was a girl, but didn't.
I went to my appointment, met Cody in the waiting room, and started feeling giddy and happy. Cody is always certain I'm growing a perfect baby better than any other woman would and he's always happy about this pregnancy. It always makes me feel better. Plus, we were happy to see each other in the middle of the afternoon and we started talking about everything. This was good, because I waited forever for my ultrasound! Or at least 30 minutes. It's an eternity, same difference.
Guess what was the first thing the ultrasound tech saw, a mere 2 seconds into the ultrasound?
I don't think Cody and I react enough to make ultrasound techs and nurses happy. Also, I said the baby looked like a chicken.
Well, she did! A little. In a cute way.
I love chickens.
(When we went to the state fair this weekend, I saw the newly hatched baby chicks and got a little teary thinking about how I can take my baby to fairs and feed stores to see chicks--just like my parents did with us--and of course I imagined the baby as a girl.)
But we were happy, if not overly excited (I challenge you to be excited while I press heavily on your full bladder. Really, let's try it sometime). We are having a girl. Her face is fine, her size is fine, her brain is fine, her spine is perfect, her heart is fine, her stomach is fine, everything about her and her little home is just fine. The tech said we were both "perfect" and I've accepted that as a medical diagnosis. I'm in love with her perfect little ribs. She moves a lot and has a heart rate of 158 beats per minute.
She's a girl.
She's half a pound.
I want her to look like me.
She's a girl.
|Me with my baby girl, at 18 weeks.|