Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Out-of-context time!

I don't remember why this was funny
Jen: So what are y'all doing?
Dad: Oh, we're just hanging out. Hey Dallas, what's the name of this movie? He says we're watching the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
Jen: Oh, that's a good one.
Dad: Yeah, it's getting really good now.
Jen: The fight scenes are pretty great. Well, tell Dallas I said 'hello.'
Dad: Hey, Dallas? Jen said hello. He said 'hello, too' but it sounded weird because he had his hand in his mouth.
Jen: Tell him to take his hand out of his mouth! Germs.
Dad: Jen says keep your hands away from your mouth. Oh. He says he's trying to pull a tooth.

We actually have a lot of discussions about Jesus
Jen: Oh yeah. That guy looks like Jesus.
Cody: No. Jesus doesn't look that bad.
Casey: I look at that guy and he makes me think about Jesus, and then I know that Jesus is better looking than he is.

I should not have been surprised
Cody: I forgot to send Casey a birthday card!

Levi: Every day is Mexican day.

Names have been changed
Girl 1: I love you, but I was going to punch you in the throat if you didn't stop singing that song over and over!
Girl 2: I was Xanaxed out!
Girl 1: Well then, thank you for driving yourself to the party.

Prepare for a tough job market by diversifying
Sarah: What's your major?
Jarrett: Marketing.
Sarah: Aren't you worried about not having a job when you graduate?
Jen: He'll be just fine. He's minoring in English!
Jarrett: Yeah....

Wait, this is sad
Laine: Levi, I'm sad when you have to leave!
Levi: It makes me sad to be gone.
Jen rubs his buzzed head: Do you ever do this to calm yourself?
Levi: No, I used to stroke my goatee. Especially when I wanted to ponder something. Deeply.

We have this conversation frequently
Cody: No animal is cooler than a polar bear.
Jen: I don't know....something's got to be cooler.
Cody: No.
Jen: Maybe a t-rex.
Cody: Psh. All the t-rexes are extinct. And you know why? Because the polar bears ate them. Because polar bears dominate.

And it was a defining moment for him
Jarrett: You know that guy at the party that no one really invited and doesn't actually know anyone there, but he knows someone who knows someone there, and he doesn't talk to anyone else and he's just kind of there? Yeah....that was us.

I think he does
Jen: Isn't [some Christian metal band] going to be there?
Spencer: [grimace] Yeah...
Jen: What's wrong with them?
Spencer: Nothing, I like them. I just don't like their fans. They're just...
Jen: Spencer, do you hate Christians?!?!

Twins = classy
Mrs. Dicy: I'm just kind of worried about what will happen while I'm gone.
Jen: You'll probably come back, and Casey will have gotten himself and Spencer addicted to heroin.
Mrs. Dicy: Yeah.
Casey: No. Not heroin, coke.
Cody: Oh, that's so much classier! [genuine]
Casey: I know! Thanks.

We were watching a Michael Jackson tribute
Jen: I just remembered! Spencer, rabies can be sexually transmitted.
Cody: What?
Jen: Yes, rabies can be sexually transmitted. And there's no cure.
Cody: Yes, it can.
Jen: No, those shots in the belly button are preventative for if you think you've contracted rabies. But once you've got full-on rabies, you die.
Cody: No.
Spencer: Oh.
Mrs. Dicy: And what brought this on?
Jen: Sex and drugs. They'll both kill you. Yes, it takes a month. [Motions at a computer] Look it up if you want.
Spencer: No, that's okay. I trust you.
Jen: You die, crazy and scared of water. And it takes a month.
Spencer: That sounds absolutely horrible.
Casey: Wait....

Levi does not take my warnings seriously
Jen: That reminds me, rabies can be sexually transmitted.
Levi: I'll stop hooking up with raccoons then.

He did not realize that she did not expect a response
Sara: Cody, what if you were with a really fat woman?

I am not a good friend
Jessi: I have to wear scrubs.
Jen: You are gonna look so fat!

We do this every summer
Jen: I was attacked by more mosquitoes.
Cody: I'm sorry to hear that.
Jen: But are you surprised to hear that?
Cody: No.

That's the spirit
Levi: I didn't mind that they said I was too young. I was telling Dad, "That's something I can fix!"

Cody's family talks about drug use a lot
Cody: I told him he should use coke because he wasn't skinny enough to be a real drummer.

Levi and Jen just talk about a lot of things
Jen: He actually told his brother he should start using cocaine!
Levi: Oh, so he could be a skinny drummer?

No really, lots of drug talk
Casey: I don't remember that.
Cody: That was probably the best field trip we ever went on! How could you not remember?
Mrs. Dicy: He was probably smoking up in the back of the bus.
Casey: We were, like, eight!
Mrs. Dicy: I know.
Jen: Oh! Burn from your mom! I'm going to go outside. Okay.

He does help out a lot
Cody: You should have just made Dallas house-sit.
Mom: He could do that!
Jen: He can't drive.
Mom: No, but he is on fall break.

Sometimes I miss Agnes
Jen: We were down there and she told me I should stop messing with Cody again or he could lose his temper again.
Dicy: What would happen?
Jen: I think she thinks he'll hit me.
Spencer: Did he tell her he hadn't planned on that?
Cody: [shrug]
Casey: Yeah, she must worry about that. She's mentioned it before.
Jen: You're going to hit me?!
Casey: No, Cody.
Jen: Did you tell her he wouldn't?
Casey: No.
Jen: Well, what did you say?!
Casey: I said, "Yeah. You know, you might be on to something there."

It happens tomorrow
Jen: So, anniversary's coming up.
Cody: Yeah.
Jen: Can you believe it's been 3 years?
Cody: Yes.
Jen: Does it feel like it's been longer than that?
Cody: Yes.
Jen: I thought so, too.

1 comment:

Laine said...

I found this installment particularly hilarious. Good job.