Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Of bad days and happy endings and excellent grammar

So. Don't be mad....

I didn't develop pictures yesterday.

I went home sick.

And then went home to my parents.

Dad bought me Wendy's.

Mom let me borrow a really pretty, yet practical, book about chickens.

Dallas drew a picture and I colored it.

We weighed ourselves and went to the creek and talked about rocks and plants.

We read books about sharks.

I ate pizza with Sara and Chad.

I loved on the dogs.

I picked up Dallas (before I knew what he weighed).

Cody eventually came out to get me. Nice man.

I realized we were out of milk and battled Dave Matthews Band fans to get some milk and Mt. Dew ...... while wearing pajamas.

And now I'm at work, sifting through friends' pictures instead of my own. They're lovely pictures, although I'm wearing a bathing suit in far too many of them. I'm not that insecure, but it's weird to see so much of myself.

Also weird: the mood at work.

Silent.

Sullen?

Something?

I don't know. I did the things I planned to do and wrote a memo to boot.

The crazy foul mood I was in yesterday that made me want to yell at the world to kiss my grits, and made me use inappropriate language in front of my dad (it doesn't matter how quickly or quietly you say it. He will catch you. And you will be in trouble.) has left.

Now I feel sane and calm and constrained by petty little things like sensibility and manners.

I honestly enjoy my bad moods. They give me the freedom to say all the mean things I'm thinking.

Yes, it's much meaner in my head.

Really mean--I think I dismissed about 40 different people as "stupid" yesterday. The world was a teeming mass of stupidity and I viewed all those idiots with searing contempt.

I had to stop myself from shouting "You are all petty and stupid and meaningless!" at everyone in the break room yesterday. I'm glad I did. I don't really feel that way about everyone I work with.

And even if I did, doing something like that while we celebrated the September birthdays with cake and cards would have just been wrong.

You know what else is wrong?

Probably the way you're using it's/its.

In the past week, I've talked to Cody, Dallas, Eden, Brad, Spencer, and Mom about this matter.

Yes, Dallas. I corrected some of his science homework yesterday.

He didn't seem offended.

Ahem.

Anyway.

The proper usage of "it's" or "its" is a really hot debate right now. I don't know if you've participated in this debate yet or not, but when you do, you will need to know this:

When you refer to something that belongs to 'it,' you write "its."

Example:

That picture looks right purty in its frame.


The picture belongs (sort of) to the frame.

And when you use a contraction of "it is" or "it has," you write "it's."

Example:

Lookit that picture! It's falling out of the frame.


The picture is falling out of the frame. It is falling out of the frame.

Now, I googled extensively and couldn't find out why the possessive form of "it" doesn't need an apostrophe. But it just doesn't.

The easiest way to remember which one to use is to stop and break it down.

Does the picture look right purty in it is frame?

No. That sentence is incoherent. Scrap it.

So the word to use here is "its."

Think of it this way:

Lookit that thurrr pitcher! It's falling out of its frame!


Better tape the back.

I hope this helped.



One other thing: if I turn up dead, Spencer probably snapped and did it.

Or Dad caught me using the foul language again.

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