Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm not sure why Robert and Chad are absent

It's time for out-of-context hilarity, family style.

Enjoy:

Laine and Jen clean their room

Jen: I'm getting rid of this. I don't know why I have it.
Laine: Because it's Miss Piggy driving a pink car! It's mine now.

She makes a good point
Anna: I'm just glad he's normal and can see and hear.....you know, we're not raising a little Helen Keller baby.

He's right there if you're seeking
Spencer: Let me show you this picture on my phone.
Jen: It's not someone's messed-up knee, is it?
Spencer: Ha, no. Look, it's Jesus.

Cody and Sara ban each other from birthday parties*
Cody: Yeah, it's too bad you can't come. Maybe you shouldn't have banned me from your birthday next year. Because this started out pretty small, but now it's the talk of North Little Rock.

*The history
Mrs. Dicy: Why are Cody and Sara fighting again?
Mom: Cody didn't come to Sara's birthday party. I forget what he had going on...
Jen: He was helping Casey move.
Mrs. Dicy: I think that's pretty important.
[Sara's relatives laugh at her]

Jen and Laine clean their room, Part II
Laine: I'm sweating. I think I'm going to throw up. Jen, hand me the nozzle on the vacuum cleaner.
Jen: Do you want me to turn it on yet?
Laine: No, just let me get it over here. Ugh, this is the worst day of my life.
Cody: I'm going in the other room.
Jen: You don't think you can take a nap while we vacuum?

Mom acts like a mom, with fantastic results
Girl 1: When I was first learning to drive, I couldn't get my car backed up. So my mom and I switched and she backed it straight into a wall.
Girl 2: I think hurt my car, like, 3 or 4 times the first year I had it. It wasn't my fault, though. The first time definitely wasn't my fault. See, what happened was--
Mom: Sweetheart, were you driving the car when these things happened?

Except identical twins grew up in this house
Jessi: This is like the house I grew up in! Aw, they even have a sunken den!
Jen: Here's the living room.
Jessi: Awww!
Jen: Here's his parents' wedding picture...
Jessi: Awww...
Jen: Here's little Spencer in overalls...
Jessi: Hee hee!
Jen: Let me scoot this wedding picture so you can see Cody and Casey when they were 5.
Jessi: Aw--oh wow! Wow. I cannot get over how identical they were.

It's tough finding the right birthday card
Cody: I don't think Casey enjoyed his birthday card (monkey swinging from a tree) as much as I did. I gave it to him and he was like, "You know I'm not eight, right?" and I said, "No, you're 25! [begins laughing] Just like me!" Ah...that's great. [chuckles some more]

Jen is not the worst-looking person in the scenario, just wait
Spencer: So I missed Teddy's call and I called him back 10 seconds later and he didn't pick up.
Jen: Maybe it died.
Cody: Jen, that's absolutely horrible.
Jen: What?
Cody: That's his friend.
Jen: I said maybe the phone died.
Cody: Oh, I thought you said maybe he died.
Jen: No, I would never do that. That's horrible. You're deaf.
Casey: That's what I thought you said.
[Everyone else agrees and thought I said Teddy died. Poor kid.]
Mrs. Dicy: He better not have died, he's supposed to work tomorrow.

It usually goes like this
Sara: That dress makes you look like an old lady.
Jen: I'm wearing it to your wedding.
Sara: Oh, well, if you like it.....That other one was cuter. But I guess the colors will match well. That's fine, I guess.

Dinner at IHOP
Laine: Do you guys ever wonder if maybe you're autistic?
Jen: All the time.
Sara: I think maybe everyone is, just a little bit.

Who doesn't?
Levi: I do love a good parade.

I know he was making a joke, but I should not have laughed for as long as I did
Casey: I'm not looking forward to getting insurance again.
[Everyone murmurs about how that's going to be bad.]
Casey: Maybe, since I turned 25, I'll get a discount.

Jen and Laine host a wedding shower
Laine: Jen, what if no one comes to our party?
Mom: We'll make Dad and Chad come over and eat the snacks.
Sara: Look who's here?! [4 people]
Laine: Our party is a success!!!

We ready the living room for painting during an NCIS marathon
Dad: Oh, sorry to bother you.
Sara: Dad, I've never seen this episode before!

Laine spent the night
Dad: How was your houseguest?
Jen: I felt trapped in a real-life Duncan and Delores.
Mom: Poor Cody.

It probably does
Joanna: I think Travis has an ingrown toenail.
Mom: Just put some Neosporin on it.
Jen: You say that for everything.
Aunt Vicki: That's because it works on everything.

This is smart
Levi: Well, when I'm home I know Mom wants me to go to Best Buy because she doesn't like the salespeople.

Jen and Casey have yet to get comfortable
[Jen looks at Casey's plate]: Wow, you're barely making a dent in that.
Casey: Jen, I don't need your criticism.
Jen: But I give it.
Casey: Yes, freely. But that's okay. Not that it would stop you if it wasn't.
Jen: No...

Jen and Mom have their dumbest argument ever
Mom: Hey, at least I can hula hoop.
Jen: I can hula hoop!
Mom: Sweetie, keeping it around your waist for 3 seconds is not hula hooping.
Jen: I kept it going long enough for a picture! At least there were pictures of me hula hooping! I bet all those people saw pictures of us on Laine's facebook and I bet they all thought, "Oh, poor Gail. There are no pictures of her. Bless her heart, she must not be able to hula hoop." That's exactly what they were thinking.
Mom: I don't think that's what they were thinking.

No comments: