I was unpacking the last few boxes from our move recently and found a box filled with marital advice that I got from my co-workers (at the time). They all wrote advice on little slips of paper. Here is a sampling of their little nuggets of wisdom.
"Communication is the key!" To???
"Always treat each other special-Aileene" I love Aileene. Wouldn't everything work better if we did this to each other?
"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband-Proverbs 12:4a"
I don't know what that means.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear. [Followed by numerous Scripture references.]" I cannot tell you how difficult it was to look appreciative instead of confused as I read some of these in front of co-workers (and superiors!).
"Dress to please your husband. Give him nice surprizes [sic]. Cater to his desires.-Ian" I don't know that I would have put my name on that. Ian is a slightly-beyond middle-aged man, who referred to every female under the age of 30 as a 'young girl,' which is not the most professional way to talk about your coworkers--particularly when they're in the room. I was not the only one who felt that his 'advice' was incredibly inappropriate. Did I mention he was a former missionary, and we were working for a missionary organization?!? Grosssssss!
"Beware the credit card curse! Live within your means-Karen" This one actually made sense.
"Remember that love is a decision. It's great to be 'in love', but true love is much more than feelings." This would have been great advice if I had been dating. Had I made it to the point of getting married without knowing this, these words could have caused me to have a panic attack right there in the reception area.
"Jennifer-Remember Cody is the man of the house and you should respect his decisions even if you don't always agree. [I decided to not tell anyone at work that our vows, which, by the way, were beautiful, did not contain words like "submit" or "obey."] Cody-Before making a decision, always remember that 'if momma ain't happy, nobody's happy!' Congrats!-Aimee" I read that one out loud to Cody afterwards. He started laughing and said, "That's just what your dad told me while we were getting ready to walk out to the chapel!"
"Spouses can always be a source of joy and comfort. Don't ever let a day end with anger between you.-Garlin" I liked Garlin, even though sometimes he would touch my hair. That was weird. But he was really nice, and this would be good advice to follow.......even though we screwed that up about a month or so into married life. Oh you know how it goes, go to bed angry, tomorrow's still another day.
These aren't all of them. Some people gave very thoughtful and sweet advice. Some of it was too long to type out since I'm doing this on my lunch break. Jane's, as always, is unprintable because she always wrote in Chinese on people's cards for special occasions. It looks cool, though. I keep this box more as a reminder of why I'm so happy to not work 'there' anymore more than anything else.
But my favorite advice had to come from Glenn, a married father of two little girls. He came into the breakroom during lunch and apologized that he didn't make the time to write anything down for me, but said that he did want to impart some wisdom to me before he went back to work. Placing both hands on my shoulders and looking earnestly into my face, he said, "Don't listen to Ian."